


Shenanigans in Ninjago

by ninja_loser



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Shenanigans, based off a teen titans episode, season 3 episode 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 03:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19881163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninja_loser/pseuds/ninja_loser
Summary: Ninjago but with more silly events and corny/campy villains. Based on episode plots from other shows such as Teen Titans.





	Shenanigans in Ninjago

Kai grinned, holding up a blank disk up with a wide grin. “I did it!” He laughed, running a hand through his spiky hair. “Despite technology I have successfully downloaded the coveted Fist to Face Five! Only released in the remotest regions of Ninjago and nearly impossible to find!” 

He hurried into the games room of the Bounty, currently unoccupied, and push the disk into their gaming console. To his dismay, the console spat the disk back out, the tv remaining depressingly blank. “Maybe it needs more power,” he muttered, picking up the disk and staring intensely at the console. Kai knew he could ask one of the other ninja for help, but he was determined to figure this out on his own. After all, he had downloaded the game himself. 

Kai left the games room and entered the control room, where their many high powered and advanced computer systems laid. “One of these should work,” Kai mumbled, searching somewhere for a disk insert. “Dammit,” he cursed, after trying an insert that would not accept his disk. “Just let me play this game!” He cried out, stomping his foot and sliding to the ground. From his position, he noticed a disk insert underneath their main computer screen. A wicked grin formed on his face, it had to be the right place. He scurried over and slipped the disk in, grunting as he forced the disk into the slot. “Yes!” He cried as the screen lit up with a circling fist, the special Fist to Face loading screen. The music plays, then cuts out as the Bounty's control room darkens from the blank screen. “No!” Kai cried, slamming his hands on the ground. 

“No what?” A calm voice asks. Kai turned to see Zane standing in the doorway, a slightly concerned expression on his face, “What are you doing in here Kai?” 

Kai leapt to his feet, standing directly in front of the computer. “Uh… nothing much, you?”

Zane frowned, clearly unsatisfied with Kai's response, but decided not to ask further. “I am here to check in with the system's data, and find some gardening books, I was thinking of starting a proper garden,” he replied easily. He walked towards Kai, reaching into the computer and pulling out a long cord. 

“Wait, what are you doing that for?” Kai asked, trying to hide his anxiety. 

“It's a connection port, so I can access the data,” Zane replied, plugging himself in.

“NO DON'T!” Kai shouted, but he was too late. 

Zane screamed as the game downloaded into him, the computer cord sparking at both ends. His electronic eyes twitched, the cord disconnecting and sending him flying across the room. 

“Zane!” Kai called, rushing over, “Are you okay?” He knelt next to the nindroid and helped him to a sitting position. 

Zane's eyes went wide and he leapt up, knocking Kai aside. He rushed out of the control room, giggling. 

“Uh oh,” Kai said, rubbing his head. “This is bad.” 

Kai found Zane chewing on the table in their kitchen, with the other ninja watching on bewildered. “Mmmm this four cheese pizza is delicious!” Zane said, his voice loud and excitable. 

“Kai, do you know what's going on?” Lloyd asked, noticing the red ninja standing at the door. 

“Uh… I may have accidentally infected Zane with a virus,” Kai explained, his voice growing quieter with every word. He stared at the ground, not wanting to meet the others angry glares. 

“You what???” The ninja yelled in unison. 

“Seriously Kai? How?” Jay asked, getting closer to Zane. 

“Well I may have loaded a downloaded copy of Fist to Face Five into the Bounty's main computer, and when Zane connected…” he trailed off, not sure what words to use. 

Zane made a noise somewhere between a slurp and a 'mmm’. They turned to look at him. He was staring at Cole, a hungry look on his face, “Do you remember that pie you made with all the wriggly worms that was an odd purple colour?” 

The black ninja glanced around, “The one that made you violently ill?”

“Yeah!” Zane answered, jumping up and down, “Can you make it again?” 

Lloyd pulled Jay and Kai aside. “How do we fix this?” He whispered, glancing over at Zane who was now trying to eat a saucepan. 

Jay sighed, “If we could get inside his processor, we could manually take out the virus,” he explained, “Nya and I have been working on a shrink ray that should do the trick. I can go in, take out the virus, and come back again.” 

Lloyd nodded, “Good idea, take Kai and go get ready, Cole and I will handle Zane.”

Kai followed Jay quietly, head hung in shame. They entered Jay's workspace, a large room with several tables, cupboards and shelves, every surface covered in either some kind of tool or invention. “Here,” Jay said, shoving a suit with a large bubble helmet towards Kai, “Put this on,” he held another in his hands and put it on over his casual clothes, Kai following suit. Jay grabbed a couple of guns and two of what looked like a metal floatie ring. “Let's go, so we can fix this,” he grumbled, dragging Kai out of the workshop. 

They found the others in the medical bay, with Zane tied down to the bed yammering on about the proper way to make breakfast pancakes. Cole looked concerned while Lloyd was rubbing his temples. Both lit up when they saw the pair enter. “Finally,” Lloyd exclaimed, “He has not stopped talking about pancakes.”

“What about waffles?” Zane called out from behind Lloyd, catching sight of Jay and Kai, “You like waffles, don’t you Jay? We can have raspberry waffles with ice cream and chocolate banana creamy pancakes and…” 

The trio sighed and tuned out their friend. Jay clipped the metal ring around himself, and then the other around Kai. “I'll shrink us down into this gun,” he explained, handing a small gun to Lloyd, “Then you shoot into his ear, okay?” 

Lloyd nodded, “Are you sure this will work?” he asked, eyeing Jay and Kai in their odd suits and metal rings.

The blue ninja rolled his eyes, doing one final check up over their gear. “Of course it will, Nya and I built it,” he gave Lloyd a grin, though the green ninja wasn’t entirely convinced. He and Cole watched as Jay pressed a button on his and Kai’s metal rings, causing the pair to shrink and disappear. 

A loud creak, followed by a crash, distracted the pair. The turned to see Zane, laughing his head off, free from the bed. “Zane wait!” Cole called out, leaping towards the white ninja, who was now running towards the window. “Quick, shoot him Lloyd!” 

Lloyd aimed the gun at Zane and fired, just as the white ninja leapt out of the window and disappeared with a cackle. 

“Ahhhhhhhh!” the blue and red ninjas cried as they flew through the air and into Zane’s internal systems. They guided their suits through Zane and into his internal wiring. Both were in awe of the wiring, it was so strange to be not only inside their friend, but inside a wire too. “How small are we Jay?” Kai asked, his voice feeling small inside the expansive tunnel that was Zane’s wiring. 

“Very small,” Jay replied, fiddling with some buttons on his ring. “Dammit, we’re in the wrong end!” He gave a frustrated yell, “It’s going to take forever to get up to his brain now, we’d better hurry.”

Kai stared at Jay, processing the words. “Wait… are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He asked. 

The blue ninja looked over at Jay, unable to stop the grin from forming. “Yeah, we went up his butt.” 

Both ninja snorted, “Do you know how to get to his brain?” Kai asked, smiling. 

Jay nodded, “Yeah, let’s go. And don’t press any buttons, we don’t want to accidentally grow inside Zane,” he added. Jay tossed one of his weapons over to Kai, “These should take out the virus, without doing too much damage to the inside of Zane,” he explained. “Just shoot them like a gun, got it?” He grinned back at Kai, miming shooting a virus. 

Kai sighed, “I know how guns work Jay, just because I’m not good with tech doesn’t mean I don’t know anything.” He followed Jay, careful not to press any of the buttons on his metal ring. 

Lloyd and Cole landed in the town, eyes wide at the destruction caused by their sick friend. “How is he even eating all this?” Cole asked exasperated, gesturing to a pole that used to be a stop sign. 

“I don’t know, but we need to find him and get him back to the Bounty,” Lloyd replied, already taking off. 

They followed the half eaten signs and rubbish strewn across the streets. Cole held up his hand, stopping Lloyd. “Do you hear that?” He whispered. They stood in silence, listening out for the sound of chewing. “He’s nearby.” Together, they rounded a corner and spotted Zane, licking a stop sign like it was a lollipop. 

When he saw them, his eyes went wide and fearful. “It’s the mean police who stole my pancake waffles!” Zane cried, his voice loud and hysterical. He dropped the stop sign and ran faster than either Cole or Lloyd thought he could run and vanished around a corner. 

The pair stared at each other, exchanging confused glances, then took off after their friend. They followed him around another corner and into a large market place. People screamed as Zane pulled bags, clothes, wallets, belts and all kinds of other items off tables and racks and dropped them into his wide, open mouth. “Yum yum yum!” He shouted, oblivious to the frightened people. Cole and Lloyd split up to corner Zane, who was now eating several wooden figures like popcorn. They approached slowly, but Zane saw them coming and screamed, surprising everyone around him, and took off again. 

“Dammit!” Cole cried, “How is he so fast?” 

Lloyd shrugged, already taking off after their mechanical friend, “Come on, we have to catch him!” 

Jay studied the internal map of Zane, they were halfway there and should be arrived at his brain soon. Both ninja held their weapons tensely, unsure of what dangers would be around the corner. “We’re getting close,” Jay explained, “About halfway there.” 

Kai nodded, “Do, do you know what the virus will be like?” he asked timidly, completely out of his element. 

The blue ninja shrugged in response, “It could be like anything, we’ll find out when we get closer.” They continued in uneasy silence, Jay guiding Kai through the correct wires to bring them closer and closer to Zane’s brain. 

“Ah!” Kai cried, firing his weapon into the distance. He paused to let the smoke clear, both ninja on high alert. The smoke cleared to reveal a few small dark purple creatures with orange highlights and eyes. The creatures, resembling small spiders with fewer legs, scuttled towards the ninja, pincers clicking and eyes angry. “AH!” Kai cried, aiming the gun and shooting the creatures. They were fast, but easy to destroy with one hit. 

Jay, overcoming his shock, took aim and joined the firefight. Together, they took out the last of the creatures. “Well that was fun,” Jay muttered, an uncomfortable laugh escaping him. 

“What even was that?” Kai asked, almost hysterical.

“Probably the virus,” Jay replied, “We have to hurry, we’re running out of time.” 

“I don’t want sprinkles, I want your raspberry filling!” Zane cried out, shaking an ATM. The machine crackled with purple electricity before spitting out even more money over Zane. He gave an exasperated yell, before catching sight of Cole and Lloyd and taking off around the corner. 

“Darn,” Lloyd muttered, watching their friend disappear, again. He and Cole walked over to the broken machine. “The virus is spreading,” he murmured, studying the ATM. The ninja jumped back as the ATM crackled again, exploding before their very eyes. “Well that’s not good,” Lloyd added. 

“Let’s go get him back before he can destroy anything else,” Cole said, leading the way after their friend. 

They turned to corner to see Zane eating from a trash can. He picked up the lid and licked it, then took large chunks out of it. Once he had finished, Zane turned to stare at Cole and Lloyd. He eyed them suspiciously, evaluating. He opened his mouth wide, salivating and ran towards them. “Ooooooh! Ice cream!!” He shouted, his arms opened wide to catch them. 

The ninja took glanced at each other, then turned and ran. “Maybe we can lead him out of the city!” Lloyd suggested between breaths. 

Cole nodded, picking up the pace. The pair could hear Zane’s heavy footsteps close behind them, along with the hungry shouts. “Let’s hope he doesn’t actually try to eat us,” Cole muttered. 

“I did this,” Kai whispered as he and Jay travelled closer and closer to Zane’s brain. Strands of icky goop webbed through the wires. They spotted some of the virus workers near the strands, however they did not attack. “Holy-” Kai started as they moved into a new wire. 

They could no longer see the walls of the wiring, instead hundreds and hundreds of virus workers lined the inside, all staring at Kai and Jay. “Why aren’t they attacking?” Kai asked, his voice barely audible. 

Jay shrugged, his whole body filled with tension. “We must not be enough of a threat,” he replied, his voice equally low. “Come on, we’re nearly at his brain,” the blue ninja added, leading the way through. 

The two ninja moved through the wires, the virus making no move to attack them, finally reaching Zane’s brain. They entered the expansive space which, to them, appeared to be the size of the Monastery’s courtyard. In the centre, lay a computer, barely visible under a large blackish purple mass. It shifted when they entered, an orange eye extended from the mass and ending in front of them. 

“Uh, Jay, how are we supposed to defeat this?” Kai asked, his voice smaller than usual. 

“Shoot it?” Jay suggested with a whisper. He lifted up his weapon and started firing at the eye.

It dodged the shots effortlessly. A loud buzz echoed through the chamber, followed by the sounds of several small creatures scuttling. While Jay continued struggling to hit the eye, Kai turned to see the virus workers rushing towards them. He turned his own weapon on them and fired, back to back with Jay. “There’s so many!” Kai cried, glancing over his shoulder to see Jay still firing. 

“Just keep shooting!” Jay yelled back, “Try upping the juice!” 

Both ninja turned up the dials on their weapons, making them far more powerful but still, the virus kept coming. 

Cole skidded to a stop, “Let’s try and tie him down,” he said, running into a hardware store and returning with some rope. “Ready?” 

Lloyd turned and stood next to Cole, waiting nervously as their friend barreled towards them. 

“Now!” Cole cried, tossing the rope to Lloyd and running past Zane, hoping to wrap the rope around him. Lloyd rushed past the white ninja’s other side, holding the rope tightly. He and Cole met behind their friend, twisting the rope and yanking back. Zane was thrown backwards to their feet. He jumped up and shoved the two ninja back, his eyes drifting upwards. “Ooooh,” he said, “A giant pancake!” He ran forwards, pushing Cole and Lloyd aside again and disappeared down the street. 

The pair of ninja turned and followed Zane’s line of sight, seeing Ninjago’s satellite communication hub in the distance. “Oh no, we can’t let him infect communications!” Lloyd cried, “Let’s go!” 

He and Cole finally caught up to the white ninja, who had smashed through the wall of the communication hub and was now climbing up a building to get to the satellite. 

Zane, of course, ignored the cries and continued climbing up. The pair of ninja hurried to follow, using airjitzu to give them a boost up the building. Cole, using his strength, leapt forward and grabbed Zane around his waist. He dug his heels into the ground and held on tight. “Zane, bud, stop,” he grunted. Step by step, Zane moved closer and closer, effectively dragging Cole behind him. 

When he reached the ladder, he twisted in Cole’s grip and kicked back, “Off fiend!” he cried, shoving his hands into Cole’s face and forcing him off. He spun around and started climbing, making hungry sounds as he did. 

“Ow,” Cole said, rubbing his face. 

Lloyd helped the black ninja to his feet, “Come on, we have to stop him!” 

They followed Zane up the ladder and onto the satellite dish. The white ninja was staring up at the red lit pole in the centre of the dish, his arms forward like a zombie. Together, Cole and Lloyd leapt onto Zane, forcing him down. Cole forced Zane’s arms down and held tightly around his middle while Lloyd koalaed the legs. 

“Jay and Kai had better hurry up,” Lloyd panted, out of breath from all the running. “I don’t know how long we can hold him.” 

Jay screamed as the virus knocked into his suit, causing it to spark. Kai grabbed his legs to stop him from spiralling into mass. He pulled Jay closer, so that Jay could hold onto him with one arm, freeing his hands.    
“Scanning,” a mechanical voice called over the chaos, “Biological organisms, threat level, zero.” The orange eye extended even closer to them, hovering over as the virus workers continued to pour in, faster than Kai or Jay could destroy them. 

“Deletion, imminent.” 

“Delete this!” Kai yelled, aiming for the mass. As always, it dodged but this time it returned over Kai.

“Programming ability, zero. Mathematical aptitude, zero. Intelligence, low,” it said, “You will be deleted.” 

Lloyd cried when Zane kicked his face, causing him to let go of the white ninja’s legs. Their sick friend spun around, in a lazy form of spinjitzu, and sent Cole flying into Lloyd. He turned towards the pole, hungrily eyeing the glowing red orb flashing on top. “Mmmm! Candy!” Slowly but surely, he started climbing up the pole, reaching for the orb. Lloyd and Cole leapt to their feet and jumped on Zane, slowing him down but not stopping him. 

“No! Stop!” They cried, “Snap out of it!” 

The red ninja stared hard at the mass, then at the virus workers below them. The mass shied away when the gunfire hit it, but the small shots weren’t enough to damage it. Maybe if… “Jay, stay close to me!” Kai cried, “I have an idea!” 

Jay looked at Kai, eyes wide, “We can’t win! We have to get out of here!” He cried, holding on to Kai with both hands now. 

“I caused this, so I have to fix it!” Kai replied, “Just, don’t let go!” 

He let the gun drop from his hands and fall into the mass. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and pictured the scene around him. Slowly, his hands started to glow, lighting up with an intense flame. He forced the fire to leave his hands and surround his and Jay’s bodies, protecting them from the virus. “Eat flame!” He shouted, opening his eyes and sending the white-hot flames outwards, into the chamber and down into the wiring. The virus clacked and screamed as it was engulfed in fire and melted into nothing.

Zane reached up towards the orb but stopped short, his hand hovering over the glowing red light. His eyes flickered, wisps of smoke curling from his mouth, and fell backwards. Cole and Lloyd let go of their friend and landed on their feet, rushing to Zane’s side. “Is he okay?” Lloyd asked, hovering over Cole as he lifted Zane to a sitting position. 

“Zane, Zane come on buddy!” Cole said, shaking his friend’s shoulders. 

The white ninja belched, releasing a plume of black smoke into the air. He fell back into Cole’s arms, coughing as his eyes flickered and lit back up. Zane groaned, holding a hand to his head, “What happened?” He asked weakly. He burped again, followed by another groan. “I feel like I ate a tire.” 

Lloyd laughed in relief, “It’s a high possibility,” he answered, his smile infectious, “We’re just glad you’re okay.” 

Cole helped Zane to his feet, and then enveloped him in a hug, “Don’t ever do that again, tin can,” he mumbled into Zane’s shoulder. 

“I do not plan on it,” Zane replied after Cole released him. “But, ah, what was it I did?” 

“Gave us all a heart attack,” Jay replied, returning to full size behind them, giving a short explanation of what had just occurred. “At least Kai still has some good ideas in that spikey head of his,” he added after he’d finished. 

Kai hid behind Jay, an impressive feat considering Jay was shorter than him, and blushed furiously. “I’m sorry Zane, I was trying to play Fist to Face Five that I’d downloaded but… it didn’t work.” 

Zane laughed, approaching Kai and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, “Apology accepted,” he said, “Though, you did not need to do so, I have already accessed the game and planned to share it with you all after dinner, as a surprise.” The white ninja blushed at the frustrated noises Jay, Cole and Lloyd all made, “But, perhaps we can forgo a surprise and start playing it now?” 

Kai smiled, “Sure!”

“Last one to the Bounty misses the first round!” Jay called out, already breaking into a run. 

The other ninja laughed and took off after him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based off Season 3, Episode 4: Crash of the OG Teen Titans show :)


End file.
